"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime"
The season of fall is the epitome of change – the climate transitions from warm to cold, flowers begin to fade, birds migrate, leaves change their colors and eventually fall from their tree. Even people go through their seasonal changes, but how does a person know when a particular person or relationship is just meant for a season?
When a relationship is new, it's reminiscent of spring. It's the budding of a new experience and excitement of things to come. This period is filled with anticipation, courting long convos and frequent text messages. The spring often leads to the summer of a relationship – beautiful, comfortable, and hot with passion. During this time, there's more exclusiveness, intimacy, and familiarity. Some people are able to keep the passion alive and some aren't. The couples that aren't, when the passion is dormant or basically nonexistent, experience fall. Things have become common, even predictable, and so dependable that sometimes, they become distant. No more I luv u's, brief check-ins, or romantic dates. Many couples are able to realize the change and work on getting back to where they previously were, while others become disenchanted and drift apart, then enters winter. The relationship is pretty much obliterated and in some cases one of the partners is left feeling cold and bitter about the ending of the relationship.I began to think of all of that recently and how it applied to someone who is near and dear to me. Even though I know her story very well, she poured her heart out to me, sparing no details. I'll call her "Lover Girl" or "LG" and her lover, "Charmer".
It started about two years ago, just like the beginning of any other relationship. Boy meets girl, paid each other no mind, but after a few run-ins, chemistry had sparked and they entered spring. It started out with corky instant messages, engaging text messages, and dates out on the town. What had begun as innocent flirting, quickly moved into summer. Lover Girl had ironically become deeply intrigued by the manly, but charming professional. She admired everything about him, from the way he spoke, to his confident yet laid back aurora. Charmer was an extremely ambitious individual and LG was his number one supporter. Charmer too, had become engrossed by the nurturing, but very opinionated school gal. She was the "ideal" woman, almost perfect, always there when he needed her. They communicated with each other from sunrise to sundown, almost everywhere he was, so was she. They seemed to have grown a strong bond, but as quickly as summer entered, it quickly exited. For some reason, their relationship just wasn't the same anymore. They saw less of each other, his only priority was his job, she took a backseat to the little things she did to show she cared and then there were the women, who he claimed were just his friends. They went back and forth, from summer to fall and fall to summer. Arguments became quick breakups, which turned in to make-ups. If it wasn't his constant flirting, his marriage to his work, or cold demeanor, it was her inconsistency, nagging, or laziness. After the months, weeks, and days of long suffering, both LG and Charmer realized their love-hate relationship was and would continue to be a perpetuating cycle. LG knew that he just wasn't the relationship type and Charmer knew that she couldn't be the down-ass chick she was before, so they both just let go.
LG and Charmer's situation is an everyday example of the seasons of a relationship. What began as something exciting and fun, ended as something nerve-wracking, without a care. The interesting thing though, is that like the seasons, love is cyclical. There will always be different seasons of love. It is up to the individuals to determine if their love is worth seeing into the next season or if it is time to let go.
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